The Middle

I’m not very good at beginnings–or endings for that matter–but I’m pretty dang good at the middle stuff.  I think it’s because the beginnings and endings mean Change–with the capital C–and that just makes me nervous.  Maybe it’s my perfectionist tendencies, my dread of loss–no matter what good thing is on the other side, or being a middle child…who knows?  All I know is the middle part of our trip to Austin was wonderful!

Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can’t tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start

We got settled in to a cute little casa we found on Airbnb.  It was our first experience using Airbnb for a place to stay, and I was really happy we did it.  We had room for the three generations of us, a kitchen for breakfast, and a backyard and patio for early morning tea and coffee.  And then things got busy!  We visited The Great Outdoors nursery that was tucked under huge Live Oak trees.  It was crazy to see a nursery full of bedding plants in late October!  We chose a cart full of flowering annuals and potted them up into hand-painted clay pots to decorate the wedding tables.  A few more crafting projects were finished.  People needed to be picked up from the airport.  Two big boxes of cut flowers were snipped and put into buckets of water.  Wedding party manicures, drinks, and supper.  A run to Target and the craft store.  Watching the Royals in the playoffs while sitting at an outdoor patio.  An evening walk down the lively and strange downtown 6th Street.

They tell me I’m too young to understand
They say I’m caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don’t open up my eyes
Well that’s fine by me

Saturday was rehearsal at the venue, where we met our dear friend and former pastor who had traveled from South Dakota to perform the wedding ceremony.  Afterwards we attended a delicious and beautiful luncheon hosted by the bride’s aunt and cousin at Green Pastures Restaurant–an amazing Victorian estate under old Live Oaks, enclosed by a fence of Bamboo hedges, complete with wandering peacocks.

After the luncheon it was back to the house to make bouquets.  G-Lo, the bridesmaids, and I watched a Youtube video describing how to make a bridal bouquet, then got to work.  Respect for the florist in the video grew as we clutched our handfuls of flowers and constructed our bouquets.  I worked on the bride’s bouquet–weaving the flowers and grasses from each of her States with pink astilbe, wax flowers and dahlias, white stock, blush spray roses, burgundy leucodendron, upright amaranth, and hypericum, and blue forget-me-nots.  It was a labor of love for my Love–just like the motherly duties I did every day of her and her siblings’ growing-up time.  The bridesmaids impressed me with their willingness to tackle this task of love, to construct the fleeting symbols of beauty, abundance, and everlasting love.  I appreciated their artistry, concentration, laughter, and support–not only in this effort, but in everything they did for their friend, the bride.

I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only have two hands
I hope I get the chance to travel the world
But I don’t have any plans

After bouquets, we gathered at the Driskill Hotel, an elegant, old downtown hotel and bar built in the late 1800’s by cattle baron Jesse Driskill.  Surrounded by western decor and with live music in the background, we greeted some of the guests who had arrived for the wedding.  My plan to not-stay-late-because-we-all-have-to-get-up-early-for-the-big-day didn’t quite work out as intended, especially since I did not take into account the very long time it took to navigate downtown Saturday night traffic!

I wish that I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life’s a game made for everyone
And love is the prize

And then the Big Day!  We were up early to make the couple of trips necessary to get all the flowers, people, games, beer kegs, decorations, etc. to the venue.  Cedar Bend Events is about fifteen miles east of Austin in the countryside called the Lost Pines region.  This thirteen mile strip of Loblolly Pine forest contains the Colorado River and is separated by one hundred miles from the related East Texas Piney Woods.

I was dressed and ready for the second transport to the venue.  The busy days and late nights were beginning to catch up with me–my eyes stung a bit from my much-less-than-eight hours of sleep that I was used to, and my energy level was low, despite my morning cup of black tea and the excitement of the day ahead.  And then Aloe Blacc came on the radio singing “Wake Me Up” from his album ‘Lift Your Spirit.’  If you know the song, it’s energizing–and I have liked it since I first heard it a couple of years ago.  So I turned up the radio, sang along, and got energized and ready to enjoy every moment of the day!

Cedar Bend was beautiful!  Colorful lanterns hung over the outdoor patio where the barnwood bar and cedar-log band shelter flanked the dance floor.  The painted clay pots of flowers sat at the center of the round tables that were adorned with ivory tablecloths and burlap runners.  Two colorful pinatas hung from a large tree branch, and yard games were scattered about in the large lawn, ready for after-wedding fun.  By noon our beautiful bride and her handsome groom were married, the wedding guests were served chips and queso, breakfast tacos, fruit, and delicious wedding cupcakes.  The bluegrass band played as everyone visited, laughed, drank Texas Shiner Cheer Beer and fruity mimosas, played games, took silly pictures at the photo booth, and celebrated Love!

The sweet beginnings of married life together!  The dreamy honeymoon period!  The wonderful fun of doing things with our partner!  And soon enough we settle into the long middle part of our relationships.  We really learn how to communicate with our partners, and often we learn the hard way.  We may have children that will keep our lives busier and crazier than we ever suspected.  We do our jobs–at home and away from home.  We make friends and lose friends.  We build our homes, plant our gardens, craft our creativity, go back to school, and serve our communities.  We learn about betrayal, loss, death, and heartbreak.  We experience creating a life, nurturing a life, and losing a life.  We watch our love grow for our partners, and some of us watch our love wane.  We become fierce in our protection of our children and of the world they will live in once we’re gone.  Aloe Blacc scripts our human tendency to close our eyes to the tough things in life that present themselves to us in the middle part of our lives.

So wake me up when it’s all over
When I’m wiser and I’m older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn’t know I was lost

But he also offers us the key to this long middle time of life–we are all lost–in one way or another–and all this time we are finding ourselves!  So lay down the weight of the world, open your eyes, accept support, and bask in grace.  We’re all in this game of life together–come play for Love!

To get energized, listen to ‘Wake Me Up’ written by Aloe Blacc, Tim Bergling, and Mike Einziger.

Photos by Emily Brake (Austin skyline, flowers), LAn (peacock, bouquets) and Jackie June.